Some days are easy - I have a perfect toddler who does and says all the sweetest things, and tells me 17 times a day, "I love you, mama." I feel like I could relive those days of playing cars and trucks and getting endless smooches forever.
Then there are days that are just...hard. We've had a lot of those hard days lately. Two has been a rough year for us full of attitudes, opinions, and the one thing that really gets to me...full blown ignoring me. I can handle all the 'tude you want to throw at me, but when my toddler flat out ignores me, that's when I start to slowly shutdown.
I'll be the first to admit that I'm already hyper-sensitive to being ignored. I'm the person who has to repeat herself multiple times in a room of people until I finally just give up and stop talking because no one's listening anyway. It's exhausting! The thing is...I'm not quiet or timid. I'm quite the opposite actually, so when this happens I quickly feel disrespected, even if that's not what's happening at all.
I took a class in college once where active participation was part of your grade. Basically if you didn't participate, you were docked points. So I had to really speak up and make sure I was heard...all to no avail.
One time after I'd been interrupted mid-sentence by the professor while commenting on whatever topic it was we were discussing, the smartest kid in the class looked over at me and said in disbelief, "Wow, Alyssa. People
really talk over you a lot."
Yes, Peter...yes they do. Thank you for acknowledging that.
Needless to say, my toddler ignoring me is my trigger - and I have a very hard time being the best version of myself when it happens constantly. I find myself shutting now, closing off emotionally, and feeling completely beaten up by the end of the day.
So what do I do?
I step away and breathe
I let my husband take over for a little while
I try to not personalize it because I know it has absolutely nothing to do with me
I keep showing up for my son, providing him with the same, consistent love and response I always would
And then I have a glass of wine because we're all just trying to survive sometimes
Whether you're struggling through the toddler days, or you're wondering why on earth anyone loves the newborn phase, there are more hard mom days than we'd like to admit sometimes.
Are you in a hard parenting season right now?
How can I help you?
While I can't help you through the hard days, I CAN make sure that both you and your infant or toddler are well-rested going into them.
Set up a free 15-minute consultation with me to learn more about how I can help you take charge of your child's sleep again.